Check out this monstrosity I found lurking in the freezer!
Having decided I haven’t eaten nearly enough frikken dirt today, these horrors are consigned straight to microwave hades where they will spend a short but painful time before descending to the final circle of hell, aka me awful guts.
I make no pretense at this being a fancy food blog but I have gone gourmet as heck on these rude sausages. Observe the subtle blending of sugary tomato bash up and yellow dirt paste. Très bon!
One bite in and I’m already in processed meat heaven. In my mind this is what eating a human dick wrapped in carpet underlay would be like. ( full review of that in a future food blog post maybe )
My lovely wife just got home from court so I thought I’d treat her to a v romantic lunch. Scouring the kitchen I came across this magical parcel of wonderment.
A half eaten sandwich from last night. Obviously I only just decided to become a food blogger this morning and i was too muffed up on cheap white wine to write last night anyway, so don’t try finding a previous review of it.
Let’s open her up
Beautiful! It appears to be bacon and green stuff, me wifes fav. Before we destroy this bready bastard, lets take a closer look all up in his guts shall we?
We bashed this frikken salad guts goon in half and ate him all up.
Bacon : Greasy
Salad : Greasy
Bread : Greasy
Wife : Greasy
Babby wanted breakfast and it was a choice between scooping peanut butter from the jar with dirty paws or cooking up this box of frikken dirt
Wrong choices were made.
PSA : This grinning goon on the packet is what you look like after eating this sugary bollocks I think.
Et voilà. Beige slime sadness served in a p cute bowl that probably tastes better than the contents.
While my breakfast companion seemed to enjoy it, I opted for 4 cigarettes and a glass of water
An American classic